“…unconditional commitment means simply that there is nothing a teen can do to stop being someone’s child.”
Pat O’Brien
A mentor can be a friend, a parent, a teacher, a coach. There are few relationships in life that are more impactful than those between a mentor and a young person. It takes all of these people in different roles to raise a child. But what about youth who are in foster care? What does their support system look like? In the U.S., there are over 500,000 children and youth in the foster care system. Unfortunately all to often, people look at the number and conclude that the issue of children in foster care is too big for them to tackle. And this is true; no one person can support all 500,000 youth in the foster care system. It takes legions of individuals with different areas of expertise, interest and backgrounds to support the youth in care. For some, becoming a foster parent is not a commitment that they are willing to make. Luckily, this is not the only way to help. Becoming a mentor is another way that individuals can support at risk youth. Families First offers many opportunities for individuals in the community to be involved in the lives of a youth including our Make it Click mentoring program. Our Foster Care Program and our Placement to Permanency Program also serve youth in foster care as they navigate through the maze if the foster care system. These programs assist youth in making permanent, lifelong connections with caring and supportive adults. Young people appreciate adults, peers, and community leaders who can offer support or assistance for a short period of time but cannot make a long term commitment; mentor for a season. But, more than anything else, all youth need and deserve adults who are in their lives consistently and can make a commitment to be in their lives for the an extended period of time, a mentor for a lifetime. Both options are helpful and necessary but one thing is clear; it takes a caring and supportive network of people and resources, a “village”, to provide a foundation for success for youth in foster care.
This week’s blog is written by Brenda Gillespie, our Placement to Permanency Initiative Manager. This program specializes in helping older youth to develop and maintain permanent connections to adults and community resources that will help them to successfully transition from foster care to self sufficiency. Who is that person who took a unique interest in you, helped to foster your growth and guided you towards your goals? What if you did the same for a young person who is navigating through the foster care system? Getting involved as a mentor can be rewarding, not only for youth being mentored, but for the adult mentors as well. In fact, research shows that mentoring is an extraordinary experience for all involved. So get involved today, in honor of National Mentoring Month, and make a difference in the lives of Georgia’s children and youth.
Kim Anderson, Families First CEO
There is an African saying made famous by Hillary Clinton “it takes a village to raise a child.” In today’s society, children are considered adults when they turn 18. This passage of age ultimately means that the child, now adult, is ready to transition from dependence to independence. However, this is what we know; every child has a village but not every village is beneficial for a child. The difference for youth in foster care is that often, their parents [the village] do not provide the care and support needed for development into healthy, responsible, contributing adults.
“Foster care was actually a safe haven for me”, says Cristina, foster care alumnus who lives in Atlanta, “I came into care at the age of 10 and this was the first time that I experienced what it was like to have a family support system in place. Before foster care, my sisters and I were left home alone for days; without supervision and without support.”
Some teens in foster care work hard to develop the skills necessary to live as adults in their communities. However, many teens leave foster care at age 18 and find they aren't as prepared as they thought to take on all of these new responsibilities. And sometimes the adult relationships in the life of a foster child do not continue with the child once they age out of care. Unfortunately, this is often the time when they are most needed.
This is not surprising, considering the average age (nationally) at which a young person leaves home and is financially independent is closer to 26! Additionally, most young adults are able to count on the support of family throughout their lives, whether it's to help celebrate their accomplishments, help finance a car or home or to simply be there when life is difficult.
“When I aged out of foster care, I had to learn how to connect to individuals in the community who could help me to reach my goals. I had several mentors who could support me and help me to make the right decisions. I was lucky, most youth don’t have this network but every young person needs it,” says Cristina.
In the Placement to Permanency Initiative we find that youth in foster care need and want a reliable adult to help them navigate the maze and journey of life to become a successful adult. They want to reclaim their village and populate it with adults who may not be legally responsible or biologically responsible for their well-being. These relationships may begin with an adult serving as a mentor for the youth. But youth need an adult who will commit to a lifetime relationship and is willing to be morally responsible for guiding them in their journey to adulthood. This kind of commitment does not require that the youth live in the same home with their moral parent nor does it require legal adoption or guardianship. What teens ask for and what they need is at least one adult who will unconditionally commit to and claim the teen as their own. As Pat O’Brien, founder of You Gotta Believe, an adoption agency specifically for older youth, states “unconditional commitment means simply that there is nothing a teen can do to stop being someone’s child.” Adults who commit in this way rebuild the village resulting in all youth aging out of care with someone in their life. Be a villager and help us rebuild the village for a young person.
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